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Helping Others

By February 2, 2013January 26th, 202312 Comments

By Kyla Walker

Being a leader at Renewal and Transitional Housing, I have learned a lot about helping others.  I have a tendency to try to “rescue” and make “everything better” for someone else.  Enabling and co-dependency are two forms of “helping others” that are not healthy.  Although we are to love others,  Matthew 22:36-39  and carry each other’s burdens, we have to use discernment in these situations and determine if what we are doing is really helping the other person.  Setting boundaries with people who have unhealthy behaviors, is always best for them and for you.

There are many forms of enabling, but for an addict, it can help pave the way and give them the resources to continue down the wrong path.  It also prevents them from suffering the consequences of their actions, thus never giving them a reason to change.  Although they may have the desire to change, it is often the brokenness that prompts them to make the necessary steps to change.

A co-dependent person has a habit of  ignoring their own responsibilities in order to help someone else with theirs.  The co-dependent person is taking on someone else’s responsibilities when the dependent person needs to do it for themselves.

Galatians 6:2  “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  It is our duty to help others.  Service to others in need is a part of being a Christian.  We are commanded to love others and we should support and encourage our fellow Christians in their time of need.  However, we should measure our level of responsibility in helping them and what kind of help we give them with the truth of God’s word.  We all make mistakes and become broken and sometimes we have to suffer the consequences of our sins.  With that suffering, God can shape and mold us to be more like Christ and draw us to himself.
I ask you this, if you had a choice, would you rather be stuck in a painful situation with someone trying to helping you out of it and likely repeat the situation or would you rather get out of it with God’s help, using your own determination and motivation and likely never repeat the situation and be a better person? 
As a  Renewal graduate, I am here to tell you, with God and with godly people like the staff at Renewal who helped me by giving  me the tools to help myself,  I am a changed person forever!  My mom couldn’t do it for me, my dad couldn’t do it for me, my aunt couldn’t do it for me, my cousins couldn’t do it for me, my friends couldn’t do it for me, my boyfriend couldn’t do it for me….only God and I, could do it for me.   

12 Comments

  • Joan Irvin says:
    February 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm

    Kyla, that is a wonderful accomplishment. Depending on God to help you was the best decision you could have made.
    I have a nephew who has been on drugs and alcohol for 20 years, since he was 14, with no change other than getting worse. He has been to 3 rehab centers only to leave and go back to the drugs. He is so verbally abusive to his parents. He has never held a job. His Mom has always supplied him with money. She is the enabler in the family. She makes excuses all the time for him. I look for him to be killed one day because of the drugs and the people he hangs out with.
    God bless you and may He keep you safe and in His Care. I use to work with your Mom when she was loaned to the Tucker District with the phone company. I hope you know you have a wonderful Mom and it looks like she has a wonderful daughter. Always set a good example for the Lord and you will be a winner in God’s Eyes.

    • Kyla says:
      February 15, 2013 at 2:59 pm

      Thank you so much for your comment. I will pray for your nephew. There was a time when I felt hopeless and I am sure my mom and all those who loved me felt hopeless. I may have “felt” hopeless but I wasn’t because God used my tragic circumstances to get my attention and draw me to Himself. With that being said, never give up hope!

  • Joy Allen says:
    February 8, 2013 at 8:44 pm

    Hey Kyla!
    I just want to let you know how proud I am of you for the long way you have come to being independent and a strong Christian! You are such a blessing to others and someone we can point to when we need to show someone what they can do with God leading the way.
    I am one of the Sisters with your Mother and I know how happy she is for you.
    God bless you!
    With love,
    Joy

  • Cathy Fortner Pittman says:
    February 8, 2013 at 9:56 pm

    Kyla, I’ve been friends with your Mom for many years and remember you as a very pretty young girl. I read your article and I am very proud
    of everything you have accomplished and wish you continued success. Your hard work has certainly paid off and made you a very
    strong person. Take care of yourself and I hope to hear many more
    good things about you in the future.

    Love, Cathy

  • Ken says:
    February 9, 2013 at 5:31 am

    I was a resident of Miracle Hill Children’s home ,when I was a teenage with there help and God’s my life was turned around.

  • Ann Greb says:
    February 9, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    I am so very proud of you. First, that you overcame your addiction through God’s grace, and second that you are actively involved with the recovery program. You help others on a level that many cannot, because you have been there. What a marvelous blessing to know that you are a part of releasing those young ladies of their bondage of addiction. Keep up the good work and you will be rewarded, if not on this earth, surely in the world to come. God bless.

    • Kyla says:
      February 15, 2013 at 1:46 pm

      Thank you Ann. Yes, it is so awesome to be used in this way. God is definitely using all the bad for the good of His kingdom!

  • Casey says:
    February 9, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    I believe that one of the most difficult and incredible things one can achieve in life is to take a tragically negative aspect of their past and through pure will and determination, mould it into something astoundingly positive and meaningful to all who are touched by it. I have a great deal of respect for these people, they have an understanding of themselves and sense of meaning that few of us will ever be blessed enough to know. This is the stuff heroes are made of.

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